Facing Failure

I recently got some difficult news and have been thinking about how I would tell you all about what has happened. As far as problems go it isn’t the end of the world but it has a significant impact on my life this year.

My plan for my senior year was to continue with dual enrollment. Dual enrollment has been a great experience for me this last year. I had to work hard but I did well in all of my classes and made a lot of new friends. I have been so excited to get started with classes this semester. One big plus to dual enrollment is the money it saves! We have saved well over $1,000 dollars just this past year in the classes I took through the program. Tuition is free and we only had to pay for the books!

However, that won’t be happening.

My SAT scores in math are really bad. As in, actually very low. So low in fact that the community college won’t let me continue taking any classes. I am so disappointed. It’s hard not to feel stupid when you study, work hard, and still fail at something that really matters for your future.

It’s also a little embarrassing.

I know that my value and worth as a human being is not related to one portion of a test and I know that I’m not a dumb person. And yet it stings. I tried my best and didn’t make it. I have my senior year to work hard and bring my score up but now I’m a little bit nervous that I won’t be able to bring it up and my score will prevent me from getting into the respiratory therapy program that I want to join.

I have learned a little bit about myself in the last few weeks as I learned that my senior year won’t be anything like I expected:

1 – Facing failure in life is really hard

2 – My value is not based on a test score

3 – I cannot just give up and go sit in a corner because things aren’t going my way

4 – There’s always a plan b (or c or d or whatever)

5 – As a person of faith I actually believe that God has a better and different plan for my life this year than I had

6 – Standardized tests are from the devil

7 – I am going to have to buckle down and work really hard in math. Have I mentioned that I despise math?

8 – The world is still spinning

As I have planned out my dual enrollment years it never occurred to me that I might not be able to participate in the program the second year. I understand that they have to have requirements but I will admit that it’s been hard to have a 4.0 in all of my college classes and be told that I’m not allowed to continue because of the score on one test.

I have cried quite a few tears over this whole situation but I am determined to make the most of my senior year and improve my score on the SAT the next time I take it. Mom and I have come up with a plan that will allow me to put some extra time into test prep, get all my other classes done, and still have time for working on what I love to do – TeensGotCents!

Sometimes things are just hard and you have to keep going even when all you really want to do is sit on the couch with your own tub of cookie dough ice cream and watch ‘Say Yes To The Dress’ on Netflix for the rest of your life. What do you do when you face failure in your life? Do you take some time to regroup or just plunge ahead into the next opportunity?